Baby Love


Baby Boy

Google Image

In a small maternity delivery room in Cheltenham, long ago, an exhausted young woman lay in a bed soaked with blood, sweat, amniotic fluid and tears; she had in her arms the most precious and beautiful thing that she had ever seen.

He was low birthweight and tiny, but he had a perfectly formed little Pixie face, not a single wrinkle on his beautiful, soft skin, and the eyes of a wise old man – boring straight in to the heart of his mother, and right in to her soul.

The young woman – still recovering from the painful contractions, all of the pushing and the subsequent birth – gazed at the child that she had grown inside of her. She was facing motherhood alone due to a violent marriage that she had been forced to end; her husband had attempted to kill her, and then the child inside her. At least his attempts on both lives had failed.

She vowed to the newborn, who she was cradling so gently, that she would look after him no matter what. Both of them together, forever.

From the day of the boy’s birth, though, his mother knew that something was wrong. Nobody would listen to her, but her child – her beloved boy – would not accept skin contact and never learned to speak. His temper, as he grew, grew with him and his mother could only watch in horror as she came to realise that her child had a disability that she would never be able to help him with. He was eventually diagnosed as autistic.

The child was violent and strong and, after too many physical attacks his mother – who adored him and wanted the best for him – was forced to send her beloved boy in to foster care. She had recently recieved a diagnosis of epilepsy and was unable to cope with her son’s strength. It was the best way forward for both of them. She could still spend time with her son, and he would be with a family who were trained to deal with his outbursts.

His mother had struggled so hard to prevent that from happening; she was desperate to keep him with her, but it simply wasn’t possible.

The little boy is a young man now, and his mother is me. Throughout his entire life I have gone through heartbreak after heartbreak in order to do what is right for him. It was not easy for me to give him up, even though I realised that – for both our sakes – I had to.

In spite of anything that has been said to me of the contrary, I did what I did through love. What good am I to a profoundly autistic child when I can collapse and seize without notice? How on earth could I restrain a teenager bigger and stronger than myself so that he can’t cause harm?

Sometimes, there is no choice – regardless of how much it hurts, or how much you know it might hurt in the future. When you love somebody you have to risk emotional pain.

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My little man is currently residing in a psychiatric unit. The fact that it is the right thing for him does not make it any less painful for the many people who love him.

Love hurts.

Posted in 2013, Autism, Autistic Behaviours, Autistic Meltdown, Autistic Temperament, Carers, Disability, Emotional Pain, Family, My Son, Neurological, Not A Supermarket Tomato, Psychiatric | 8 Comments

Guest Post – Doctor Who Review: Nightmare in Silver


The hype for this episode was at a fever pitch. The last time Neil Gaiman wrote an episode for Doctor Who, he wrote what most people would call a game changing masterpiece. The second that Cybermen were mentioned, my hopes immediately took a nose dive. The first time they reappeared with Nine in Series One, they were quite frightening, but every appearance since has been sub par, with the exception of a Cybermen’s hand running amok in The Pandorica Opens. Still, I’d let myself get prematurely disappointed without considering the wild ways of Gaiman.

Nightmare In Silver has little in common with The Doctor’s Wife at first glance. The Doctor, Clara and kids end up on Hedgewick’s World of Wonders for a good time. Soon they hear about the missing Emperor’s war with the Cybermen and things go horribly wrong when the Cyberplanner (a kind of super Cyber consciousness) gets inside The Doctor’s head. Clara is left to try and stay alive before the military, headed by Captain Alice, blows up the entire planet. Meanwhile, The Doctor plays a deadly game of chess…

nightmareinsilver_610

Apparently Gaiman’s mission was to make the Cybermen scary again and on the whole I think he succeeded. The moments when the Cyberplanner spoke through The Doctor were chilling, especially when he mocked The Doctor with his own catchphrases like “allonsy.” The decision to have Matt Smith play two parts in one body was a bold move but it worked for me, only serving to reinforce how strong an actor the Eleventh incarnation of our favourite Time Lord is. Similarly, the separation of Clara from The Doctor gave us the chance to remember how independant, fun and bold Clara is as the new companion. Warwick Davis as ‘Emperor Of The Universe’ Porridge was wonderfully understated and his quiet speech to Clara about feeling sorry for the people who pull the trigger was both sad and a brilliant piece of forshadowing.

I don’t think this episode is a masterpiece like The Doctor’s Wife was. There are still the typical Gaiman elements; the abandoned circus, the grotesque, the rag tag team of characters, the strange blend of sci fi and fantasy that is Gaiman’s signature style and an emphasis on moral conundrums. But this episode is a lot less serious than The Doctor’s Wife despite Nightmare in Silver’s fear factor, and it has a lot less to say. At least at first glance. On rewatches, the complexities are more noticeable. Nightmare in Silver isn’t perfect, but it is thought provoking and well acted teatime entertainment. That’s all I want from Mr Gaiman.

Nightmare in Silver: 10/10 inky stars

FINALE: YES I’VE SEEN IT AND YES I AM BEHIND WITH MY BLOGGING. My brain is still shattered and I am in no state to review the finale till after another veiwing. Moffat you audacious bastard.

Maureen is addicted to all things speculative fiction, including Doctor Who. She guest blogs for MrsTribble but you can find her at her speculative fiction blog InkAshlings or on Twitter. She also reviews sci fi and fantasy books on Goodreads if you like that kind of thing.

Posted in A Madman With A Box, Adventures, Cybermen, Doctor Who, Doctor Who Review, Maureen's Guest Blog Spot, Nightmare In Silver, Steven Moffat | Tagged | 3 Comments

Autistic Son Psyched In A Bad Way


Psych Unit

Psych Unit

I have mentioned my autistic son many times before. I’ve shared the good times, the bad times, some photographs of my handsome, cheeky little man. A young man who is basically thoughtful, sweet-natured, warm hearted, kind, handsome and funny. He has a smile that could light up the entire solar system, and a laugh to match.

He is a beautiful boy. He would never deliberately harm anybody, but over the last few months his behaviour has become more and more difficult for people to cope with. Several of the services he was recieving have been withdrawn recently, because people just cannot deal with him any more.

I still didn’t expect the news that I recieved yesterday though, in spite of my son’s deteriorating behaviour. I was just home from Book Club when my mother called me.

My son’s behaviour has become so erratic and violent that he was admitted to a psychiatric ward on Saturday; he’s been sectioned for twenty-eight days. Sectioning means that he will be held against his will for his own safety while tests are carried out; we’ve always known that autism isn’t his only issue – and perhaps we can now find out what else is going on.

My son is non-verbal and so he can’t tell people how he feels. Many of his physical attacks on people are born out of sheer frustration. This is known to all and is therefore being removed from the equation when it comes to any new diagnoses.

I really did not want to write this, but then I decided that my son’s story might benefit parents of autistic children who may have other special needs, just as my son does. I wanted them to know that they are not the only ones.

However; whichever deity you trust, please send them a prayer for my little boy.

R: The Stealer Of Hats

R: The Stealer Of Hats

 

Posted in 2013, Autism, Autism Awareness, Autistic Meltdown, Disability, Health, Neurological, Not A Supermarket Tomato, Psychiatric, The Dark Side Of Autism | 13 Comments

Wedding Bells


This time last year my Bridesmaid and I were being pampered by my lovely hairdresser, who had opened the salon especially for us, while my friend Lisa rushed around  making tea and sandwiches for the assembled hoardes of Ghengis Kahn at Tribble Towers.

Hey, this is a small house. An extra five people in it is a lot of people! Not only Lisa, but we had my Bridesmaid and her partner and D’s Best Man and his wife.

Eventually there was just my Bridesmaid and myself left in the house (everybody else moved on to D’s Dad’s so that we could get ready without D seeing my gown). We vegged for a while and then we got ourselves ready for my now Mother and Stepfather in law to collect us.

Arriving at the scene of the crime – John Ray House, Braintree, Essex

My only scare of the day: The Best Man dashing out to the car park and saying:

“Gemma; D doesn’t want to see you…”

Liz and I exchanged looks of horror; my heart was almost literally in my mouth.

“… in your gown, until the ceremony. He’s asked that you wait in the hallway until he’s called through.”

Phew. Talk about hair-raising!

(There is actually a photograph of D placing himself in the “Naughty Corner” with his back turned. Sadly I don’t have it on my laptop!)

So Liz and I stood there with our teeth chattering, greeting guests and getting photographed a lot until we were told it was safe for us to enter. We were both interviewed briefly, and then this happened:

I’d chosen this melody – Watermark by the fabulous Enya – as it always reminds me of happy times spent with my sister. It was the only entrance music that felt “right” to me.

The marriage itself was a very relaxed affair; vastly due to the very nature of our guests, but also – in part – because the lovely Registrar kept losing where she was in her “lines” and making everybody giggle.

First kiss as Tribble and wife

There was confetti (mostly dumped straight into my cleavage by my new Mother-in-Law amidst much laughter) and then there was the reception:

The White Hart Hotel

The White Hart Hotel

There was the meeting of new friends:

The receptionThere was also a bit of Doctor Who silliness, courtesy of my good friend David:

Well... they ARE!

Well… they ARE!

Much fun was had by all, and Tony (who is a counter tenor) even performed a little bit… and then we all sang Spike’s Let Me Rest In Peace as we were driven by the Best Man to our various neccessary locations.

It was such a beautiful, happy day. No pomp, no circumstance, no fuss. Just two people in love getting married bathed in the love of a small gathering of friends and family.

With this ring...

With this ring…

I can’t believe that we have now been married for a whole year – and it’s been the happiest year of my life. Thank you, D, for loving me just the way I am.

Posted in Anniversaries, Family, Fandom, Friends, Homemaking, Love, Marriage, Tribble Towers | 19 Comments

Let The Wind Blow Free


Sometimes, Missus Tribble likes to fall off the balance beam and shake things up with something completely out of character. An unashamed feminist who does Man Things and has toilet humour down to a fine art, Missus Tribble is an unladylike, happy female who should always be taken with a gigantic pinch of salt, unless otherwise stated; so much salt, in fact, that The Dead Sea now has things living in it. Continue reading

Posted in Attitudes, Humour, Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life, Anniversaries, Bodily Functions, Farting, Fart Jokes, Toilet Humour | 10 Comments

Together They Weeped

Reblogged from terry1954:

Click to visit the original post

Help me, please someone help me. I am drowning. People walking each direction. No one stopping but each person looking. No one getting involved. Too busy  living, distracted minds.

One soul tossed a few coins in the direction of the cry. Lost children scampering to gather precious solids into their tiny hands. Claiming change for their own; needed for a nibble of food.

Read more… 786 more words

A beautiful and moving tale from the mind of Terry Shepherd. Something that our own British Government could and should read and learn from.
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Doctor Who Review: The Crimson Horror


Stop the press!! Call the Prime minister, call the show producers, call up the entire internet, call Stephan Moffat. Yes guys. That’s right. For the first time in New Who’s run I’ve actually REALLY enjoyed a Mark Gatiss episode! I don’t know quite what it was? Was it the return of Madame Vastra, Jenny and Strax (and a wholehearted YES to fandom’s request for a spin off), was it the 19th century setting which Gatiss has always mastered? (his other tolerable episode for me is The Unquiet Dead which also made use of this period setting), was it the penny dreadful riffs that made me think “Ah. Sally Lockhart with aliens?” (AND YES PLEASE, Philip Pullman. What on earth would you do on Who?), was it Diana Rigg (Game of Thrones) as a delicious villain? I can’t quite pinpoint what it was but I enjoyed every second of this weeks episode.

It’s 1893 Yorkshire and a man’s brother has just died at the hands of the mysterious Mrs Gillyflower. The brother goes to see London’s finest detectives who soon investigate ‘the crimson horror.’ Upon investigating the photo taken of the body, and in particular, the man’s eye, Vastra and Jenny see The Doctor reflected in the photo. But that’s impossible, right? Sweetville is a place for the fittest and the most beautiful of humanity and is run by Mrs Gillyflower. The brother reporter died investigating the quasi religous place, but why? And how on earth is The Doctor involved? Jenny goes undercover to infiltrate the place in her sleuthing role while Vastra and Strax man the fort in London. What’s with Mrs Gillyflower’s daughter, Ada, and her secret monster? What’s the deal with the red bodies? And who is Mr Sweet?

Even the promo poster this week is gorgeous, instantly reminding me in fact of the dvd cover for The Ruby in the Smoke which features the villian, Mrs Holland, in the backdrop and Sally is close up left. The second Sally Lockhart adaptation, Shadow in the North, which Matt Smith also had a role in as Jim incidentally had a plot which features a Utopian dream gone wrong and also requires Sally to investigate by infiltrating;

On an unrelated note, I wish they’d made more of these because the adaptations were damned good. Also Pullman, just write more Lockhart. She was great.

Have a picture of Matt as Jim because everyone needs to see this show. EVERYONE.

Ahem. Anyway. Reviewing. The parallels with Sherlock Holmes are also obvious and a spin off show about the ‘real’ Holmes team would be quite wonderful. One of the things that I have been enjoying about series seven after the serious (and seriously) intricate plots of the Pond’s in series six, is how much fun the show is having right now. None of these episodes have been Pulitzer prize winning material, but damn, they are just so much fun every week. Clara and The Doctor took a back seat too, which allowed for us to really enjoy Vastra, Jenny and Strax. Though Strax is still a take him or leave him character for me, I love the dynamic duo and they should come back muchly. I enjoyed having a really evil villain to sink our teeth into with Mrs Gillyflower but the reveal about Mr Sweet was kinda… well… bittersweet. It was a suitably sad ending and yet oh so right.

The Doctor leaves the episode still refusing to clarify much about Clara to the trio who are of course dumbfounded that she is even alive and there is a rather interesting part at the end of the episode where Clara finds pictures of herself throughout different eras with some help from her two kid charges. Thing is, some of the pictures she knows aren’t her and yet… they are. I just had the best thought. What if the pictures were taken by Vastra and Co.? What if they have been doing some investigating of their own (COME BACK FOR THE FINALE PLASE). No idea. I can’t wait to find out where this is headed.

The Crimson Horror: 9/10 inky stars

Next episode: NEIL GAIMAN YOU GUISE. But let’s be realistic with our expectations, lest we anticipate The Doctor’s Wife every time and even Gaiman has to be human, right? Right?

Maureen is addicted to all things speculative fiction, including Doctor Who. She guest blogs for MrsTribble but you can find her at her speculative fiction blog InkAshlings or on Twitter. She also reviews sci fi and fantasy books on Goodreads if you like that kind of thing.

Posted in A Madman With A Box, Doctor Who, Maureen's Guest Blog Spot, Review | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Spider!


Ever since childhood I have suffered from arachnophobia. I mainly absorbed this fear from my mother, who is so afraid of our eight-legged friends that she was never able to hide it from me. As a result, I grew up believing that spiders were evil and should always be feared.

I have spent the last ten years trying to rid myself of the phobia that – until now – has controlled my life. For most of my life, if I was travelling somewhere, my first question would always be “Will there be spiders?” and I always had to check every nook and cranny before I could relax.

Five years ago I began to use my phobia for online research and understanding. I even submitted a photograph to our local paper, picturing me holding a garden spider in a bid to recover from my fear.

It was last year that my recovery truly began. I would like to discuss it further, but I need to warn anybody who is sensitive that there will be links to and pictures of arachnids beneath the jump. Continue reading

Posted in Arachnids, Arachnophobia, Fear, Garden Wildlife, Home, Phobia | Tagged , | 23 Comments

How Hope Orchard Cured Me Of My Fear Of Dogs


I have always been a Dog lover. Always. I grew up with a beautiful Dog, would talk to other Dog walkers and make friends with their Dogs…

And in my twenties I was mauled by a German Shepherd. I still have scars – both physically and emotionally. I used to cross the road to avoid Spaniels – one of the most loving and loyal breeds there are. I just couldn’t be near any Dog at all.

Some years ago, while we were searcing for a disability-friendly guest house, my husband found Hope Orchard. What we didn’t know was that there were household pets. Continue reading

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Guest Review: Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS


I’m still not entirely sure that this episode makes an iota of sense and I’ve watched the episode twice now. How did Clara end up with a literal reset button? How did time reassert itself with the two brothers touching? Did Thompson really have to make everyone forget? But the other part of me thinks who cares? What a mind fuck of an episode.

In summary: Clara is allowed to fly the TARDIS with The Doctor’s guidance after the episode establishes yet again Clara’s feisty relationship with the time machine. Because it is being flown with minimal defences, the TARDIS is sucked into a scrapyard for salvage and resell. The Doctor gets out in time but Clara is trapped inside the crashed ship. The Doctor manages to persuade the salvagers to come inside and help him find Clara using a clever ruse but can he fix the TARDIS engine room in time, undo cracks in time, the engine exploding and figure out what the creepy animal matter inside the TARDIS is before it’s too late?

Even though the plot was half baked there was just so much in this episode to pull apart. Thompson’s previous episode for Doctor Who, The Curse of the Black Spot, was also minimal on strong plot but reflected an awful lot of what was actually going on in series 6 with its establishment of two realities. I quote a friend of mine on lj, elisi Here

Anyway, before I move on, I feel obliged to point out how – as many of us suspected – ‘The Curse of the Black Spot’ turned out to be a big metaphor from start to finish…

There was the mark of Certain Death (/fixed point), which turned out to be something else. There was the Siren/Mermaid who rose from the water, who turned out to be a doctor. (And she sang.) There was the fact that everyone had to go to a parallel world in order to sort things out. There was the necessity of confirming a marriage in order to save the man who was dying (I swear to you, by the higher power of your choice, that when the Doctor and River got married this image sprang into my head). And finally there were continued adventures, with everything different and yet the same, and the pirates thought dead in their old world…

I very much wonder if this episode is mirroring the series 7 arc in a similar way to Thompson’s pirate episode. We have the TARDIS engine exploding, cracks in time making a comeback, Clara still not making sense but being posited by The Doctor as a trick or a trap, glimpses of the swimming pool and of the library (everything always comes back to River’s library) complete with a history of the Time Lord’s. We have Clara reading out loud “So that’s who…” and The Doctor telling her that she will forget everything that happened once time is reset. Of course, what’s the one thing we learnt from s5 and The Big Bang? Moffat loves the motif of memory and Amy WAS able to remember her past with The Doctor and bring past events back into her own reality. The precedent is there. Could Clara do the same? And there is still “Run you clever boy, and remember” and what on earth is that about?

Way back in the days of The Snowmen, I said that I thought Clara was a TARDIS or a TARDIS avatar. This episode makes me feel that Clara must be linked to the TARDIS even more strongly. There’s three more episodes left until the finale so have the beginnings of a theory put down on the blogging table. I think that Clara will remember The Doctor’s name at the field of Trensalore. I think that somehow this causes silence to fall and the TARDIS to explode and that the TARDIS exploding links Clara with the TARDIS so that she is scattered throughout time and space. I think that this season is heading towards The Time War and the time rift faster than you can scream “Geronimo.” I think it is pretty clear now that Moffat is going to explore the War further and that Clara will be a trick or a trap but set by who? Omega? And lest we forget River who was practically everyone’s theory at once… Clara is probably still just a perfectly ordinary girl in spite of this.

With all of this glorious meta who cares that Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS was big on promise and short on delivery? Who cares that the plot could have been stronger? Who cares that this was no Gaimanesque game changer?

Certainly not me.

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS: 8/10 inky stars

Next week: BAH more Mark Gatiss BUT WAIT… the return of Madame Vastra and Jenny? Oh Santa Moff!

Posted in A Madman With A Box, Doctor Who, Maureen's Guest Blog Spot, Review | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments