The Other End Of The Telescope


OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhen you look through a telescope you witness the entire world expanding. You can see past the horizon, or you can see planets hiding out among the stars that you are unable to see with the naked eye alone. Truly a wonderful invention.

Now take this very same wonderful invention and turn it the other way around. Suddenly, your sphere of existence narrows to a pinprick. No horizon, no stars, just… nothing. Just you, isolated and alone, unable to see what’s in front of you.

That’s very much how it is when a doctor tells you that your body is essentially disintegrating and that you are dying.

Oh don’t worry; I don’t plan on going anywhere yet. I was born with the Morris fight and the Knight fire flowing through my veins. I probably have a good 20+ years in me yet – it just might be a painful 20+ years. I’m used to pain and I’ll handle it like a trooper. I won’t let my Nan down and just give in. The genes I inherited are not healthy ones, and I’ve always known that. It was only a matter of time, really, before a doctor was going to deliver the news that my body is failing. Continue reading

Posted in Death, Illness, Life, Pondering | 3 Comments

A Visit To The Hospital


A&E“What happened to your eye?”

Excuse me? I’m here because I’ve been vomiting blood and you want to talk about my eye?

To do a quick rewind: I was put on Naproxen for the pain in my feet. Not only did it not help in the pain department, but mysterious bruises began to pop up all over my body.

Last Thursday I woke up, got out of bed and struggled down the stairs. The moment I sat down, Dom asked me what on earth I’d done to my eye. Well, I hadn’t done anything to it at all; I hadn’t fallen over, I’d not thumped myself in my sleep (which I am apparently quite prone to doing) and certainly nothing had happened to drive my glasses into my face. Continue reading

Posted in 2014, Accusations, Adapting, Attitudes, B12 Deficiency, Calcium, Disability, English Hospitals, Epilepsy, Hydroxocobalamin, Illness, Injuries, Naproxen, Pain, Vitamin D, Vitamin Deficiencies | 10 Comments

It Started With A Twitch


AtosMy doctor’s eyebrows shot up considerably when I mentioned that I was used to Restless Leg Syndrome. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember – that itching, burning, tickling, almost-pain coming from inside my limbs – and so I couldn’t quite fathom the possible significance of this. I would soon find out. Continue reading

Posted in Blood Tests, Health, Ongoing Illness, Vitamin D | 6 Comments

On Your Birthday


GrandmotherWithout you, I wouldn’t be the person I’ve become. Without you, I would have a very different view of the world. Perhaps I would not be so kind, or so fond of Nature. Perhaps I would have grown up selfish, as opposed to selfless. Financially I would definitely be richer had I never witnessed kindness and compassion such as yours, but my life would have been so much poorer for not having that warmth of heart and the kindness of soul that you taught me to own and use. Continue reading

Posted in Birthdays, Death, Family, Loved Ones, Nan, Open Letter | 5 Comments

Me And The Girls; Book Clubbing


BarooshWelcome to Baroosh, the city centre tapas bar which is perfect for friends, colleagues and groups of like-minded people to meet up, chat, have nibbles and get tipsy enjoy a drink or two. You can always tell which table the book club is occupying; it’s the largest, noisiest one in the place and there’s often a blonde wearing a hat (that would be me then). Hats are useful for when I’m under the weather and can’t really tend to my personal appearance.

Well, that’s how it used to be anyway. Continue reading

Posted in Baroosh, Book Clubs, Chelmsford, Disappointment, Food, Group Meetings, Uncategorized | 4 Comments

And He Learned


Missus Tribble:

I will blog something soon, I promise (I actually have a draft lined up) but I saw this and had to share.

Originally posted on Rant Against the Random:

When he noticed the naked little girl at the beach didn’t look quite like he did and asked why, they answered his questions in simple phrases painted in black and white, pink and blue, and tradition. And he learned that boys and girls were different.

When one of the neighbor kids painted his nails, they got angry. That wasn’t something boys did. And he learned that there were different rules for boys and girls, and that breaking those made people upset.

When he was handed down a pink bike from his cousin, they replaced it with a blue one, because they didn’t want him to be mocked for having a “girly” bike. And he learned that being girly was something to be mocked.

When he cried, they told him to be a man. And he learned that crying, and being not a man, was something less.

When he was being picked…

View original 1,016 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

My loves, my students, my teachers, my friends…


Missus Tribble:

I disappear for a while through ill-health, and this happens to one of the loveliest, most loving, honest people I can name. Thinking of you Rara and Grayson both during this time xxx

Originally posted on rarasaur:

Back when I first started blogging, the Daily Post issued a prompt: You have the chance to write one last post on your blog before you stop blogging forever. Write it.

I wrote a reply, then, back in November of 2012, and looking back now– though it was cute and somewhat different than the other replies– it showed a total lack of understanding.  I can’t imagine leaving something so trite for y’all now, not when you’ve done so much for me and added so very much to my life.

Today, I am writing my last post. The tears are slowing me down, and my hands are shaking, but I am borrowing your strength as I try to get to the important parts.

Of course, nothing is certain.

If there’s one thing you learn in the ‘sphere, it’s that.  Ideal couples get divorced, terminally ill people live long fulfilling lives…

View original 574 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Here’s the real reason the Tories are allowing the destruction of robin eggs and nests


Missus Tribble:

I read about this online this morning. A disgusting suggestion – as if we have the right to dictate to the other planet-dwellers (which we don’t. Please spread the word.

Originally posted on Pride's Purge:

(not satire – it’s the Tories!)

I must admit to having been more than a little puzzled at first as to why Natural England are proposing that nests and eggs of bird species such as robins and starlings will be allowed to be destroyed without the granting of special licences.

This would mean members of the public would be allowed to destroy any nests or eggs they came across – more or less at will.

Natural England’s consultation paper on the subject doesn’t shed much light on the reasons for these quite shocking proposals either – other than stating that these birds can present a “public health and safety” hazard.

There is no explanation of what exactly the public health and safety hazards of robins’ and starlings’ eggs are.

However, after a little investigation into the murky waters of party donations all has now become clear.

Last year government ministers chose Andrew Sells…

View original 346 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

A Gay Dad Takes on the Frozen-Hating Mormon Grandmother


Missus Tribble:

It’s a crying shame that this message even still needs to be spread. Since it does, however, I am more than happy to pass it along.

Originally posted on evoL =:

ImageLast week a self defined Mormon grandmother named Kathryn Skaggs wrote a blog in an effort to alert the world that the movie Frozen was targeting children with a “gay agenda”.  In a sense, she was not alone in seeing “something gay”.  Many gay bloggers reviewed it with the thrill that it captured the air of gay persecution and some went so far as to dub it “the gayest Disney movie ever.”

They, of course, did not mean it in the same way Ms. Skaggs did.    There seems to be some common ground that there is a relevant LGBT message, even if we can’t all agree on exactly what it is, and whether it is “bad”.

Ms. Skaggs is a California pro-proposition 8 activist who feels her religious beliefs should trump the right of other families to enjoy the love and commitment she does.  Her writing expresses the fear that…

View original 1,206 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

When The Needle Skips The Groove


record-playerI haven’t exactly been “dying of ennuii” since you last saw me here. I’ve been laid up quite ill for a while and so my blogging has gone right out of the window.

In my absence I’ve been reading the complete works of Louisa May Alcott (who I really must write a piece on at some point – a feminist ahead of her time). I’ve put my two largest Tarantulas (my Mexican Red Leg and Honduran Curlyhair) into larger tanks, and I now have a juvenile Red Leg, who I bought because a friend needed a new washing machine and had to sell a good portion of her collection off to be able to pay for it. Little Rogue – or “Dot” – has settled in beautifully.

I’ve been reading scripts for an actor who wishes to write for Doctor Who, and am being a friend to another actor who is a little bit down at the moment. I stick by all my friends, and so the idea of dropping one just because they’re an actor who isn’t working doesn’t quite compute with me – I don’t have to see this particular friend on TV to remain friendly, any more than they have to read anything I’ve had published.

But, as the title of this blog has probably already hinted, I’m not here to talk about any of those things today. I’m here to talk about when the needle in your brain skips the groove and creates havoc. Continue reading

Posted in Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life, Arachnids, Attitudes, Disability, Epilepsy, Epilepsy Awareness, Friends, Health, Illness, Neurological | 3 Comments