All this time after divorcing the useless lump that is Trevor (who I assume is now happy living underneath his bridge and frightening passing children and Billy Goats), he is still a flaming obstacle! Who could believe it, right?

This afternoon we went to Chelmsford Registry Office to give notice of intent to marry. I had all the documents requested for purposes of ID, and the registrar was very nice. After all the panic searching for this stuff yesterday, I thought that we could give our notice and relax – apart from obvious spending of much cash on wedding gown, shoes, flowers etc.

So Wrong. So very, very Wrong.

It turned out that the registrar needed a copy of my marriage certificate to tie Gemma Y in with Gemma D. The receptionist, of course, had not known this. I brightly said “I have that at home – I had to order a new copy when I switched divorce solicitors on moving here” and so we booked to go back tomorrow afternoon.

We arrived home and I went directly to the folder that I just knew it was kept in. I pulled out the green piece of paper and smiled smugly.

“Certificate of marriage between Gemma D and Richard T, July 16th 1994″.

Oh. Crap crap crap. Crap on a crapstick with a side order of crap and a double-scoop dessert of crap.

My solicitor didn’t return my certificate for the marriage between myself and Trevor. I do, however, have an utterly useless certificate from my marriage to R’s father. Just wonderful.

A fair bit of running around like a headless chicken on acid, one online search, one online application and a £30 express delivery charge later, the certificate is on the way and should be with me by Tuesday at the latest.

We’ve rebooked to see the registrar next Wednesday, and I may be about to have a small heart attack. I most certainly need a Very Strong Drink.

On the plus side, we did achieve the ring. The very ring I fell in love with online. It’s absolutely as beautiful as it was photographed to be in the online brochure and it’s now got a deposit on it and we’ve ordered my size, which will arrive on 15th Feb!

Yes, this ring. I keep showing it to you because it is Glorious in its Shiny Gloriousness

In the meantime, my lovely bridesmaid emailed me last night with several ideas for her gown. I would trust Liz to choose perfectly and look fabulous without ever seeing her choice of style before the day, but Liz is That Amazing Friend who has the courtesy to run things by her loved ones when plans are being made, even though she knows I trust her to the N’th degree. Of course, I liked all of her suggestions, but two really stood out – one for its simple elegance and another because it’s so unusual. Whichever one she buys is utterly perfect, and I know she will inform me of her final choice.

After the afternoon we’ve had, Tribble Towers is recovering from racing heart rates of the wrong variety and possibly drooling a little over there in the corner…

This is us this evening