Here at Tribble Towers, the world doesn’t stop because it’s 14th February. Washing up still gets done, emails still need to be answered, the washing machine still spins and the boys next door still lose their footballs over our fence and knock on the door to ask for them back. It’s another chilly February day, and our routine is no different to usual. My sewing is still sat by the sofa waiting for me to pick up later and the kitchen smells vaguely of the ginger and vinegar pickling mixture from making the pickled red cabbage last night.
For us, 14th February is just another ordinary day. That is,” Just Another Ordinary Day To Be In Love”. Because we don’t believe that love needs one special day to be recognised – it ought to be recognised every day of the year.
Dom doesn’t need to buy me a card or overpriced flowers to show that he loves me – because he shows it every single day. He shows it by taking care of me on my more disabled days, giving me a bath when I’m unable to manage it myself and by letting me sleep for as long as I need to. He brings home little surprises for me, such as cross-stitch books he found in the market, or a little plant for the garden, or a small piece of Doctor Who memorabilia.
I wonder if how you feel about Valentine’s Day depends on your relationship, or your relationship history? So many of my relationships in the past were less than happy, and so Valentine’s Day was important to me. I would almost always be disappointed and/or verbally abused by my partner in some way but, like a dog who gets kicked by its owner, I remained loyal to each relationship and held out for that Perfect Valentines Moment… which never came.
My first Valentines Day with Dom was difficult. I was taking an epilepsy medication that severely affected my mood at the time, and I still believed in all the hype. I was so hung up on the hype and commercialism that I couldn’t see past it to the true meaning.
We’ve been together for so long now as a couple, that Valentines Day means very little to either of us, other than to laugh about the money we’re not spending. Even if we wanted to buy each other gifts, I’ve used all my spare pennies towards the wedding.
Surely spending money on your forever future is far more fulfilling than spending money on a gift that you feel obliged to buy, or paying out for a ridiculously expensive dinner, or slaving in the kitchen when all you really want to do is snuggle with your significant other in front of the TV with a glass of wine?
So, for us, life goes on as usual. We enjoy hearing about Valentines adventures from friends, but we enjoy these tales from inside our own little comfortable, relaxed bubble.
I hope that those of you who celebrate have a perfect, magical day. If you’re single this year, then I ask that you make today all about you. Soak in the bath with your favourite products, put on a facemask, watch a feelgood film and simply enjoy being able to spend that time by yourself, doing exactly what you want to do.