Love Is All Around
Here at Tribble Towers, the world doesn’t stop because it’s 14th February. Washing up still gets done, emails still need to be answered, the washing machine still spins and the boys next door still lose their footballs over our fence and knock on the door to ask for them back. It’s another chilly February day, and our routine is no different to usual. My sewing is still sat by the sofa waiting for me to pick up later and the kitchen smells vaguely of the ginger and vinegar pickling mixture from making the pickled red cabbage last night.
Tribble Towers Red Cabbage - I use an old Mrs Beeton pickling recipe
For us, 14th February is just another ordinary day. That is,” Just Another Ordinary Day To Be In Love”. Because we don’t believe that love needs one special day to be recognised – it ought to be recognised every day of the year.
Dom doesn’t need to buy me a card or overpriced flowers to show that he loves me – because he shows it every single day. He shows it by taking care of me on my more disabled days, giving me a bath when I’m unable to manage it myself and by letting me sleep for as long as I need to. He brings home little surprises for me, such as cross-stitch books he found in the market, or a little plant for the garden, or a small piece of Doctor Who memorabilia.
I wonder if how you feel about Valentine’s Day depends on your relationship, or your relationship history? So many of my relationships in the past were less than happy, and so Valentine’s Day was important to me. I would almost always be disappointed and/or verbally abused by my partner in some way but, like a dog who gets kicked by its owner, I remained loyal to each relationship and held out for that Perfect Valentines Moment… which never came.
My first Valentines Day with Dom was difficult. I was taking an epilepsy medication that severely affected my mood at the time, and I still believed in all the hype. I was so hung up on the hype and commercialism that I couldn’t see past it to the true meaning.
We’ve been together for so long now as a couple, that Valentines Day means very little to either of us, other than to laugh about the money we’re not spending. Even if we wanted to buy each other gifts, I’ve used all my spare pennies towards the wedding.
Incidentally, the wedding is exactly three months from today
Surely spending money on your forever future is far more fulfilling than spending money on a gift that you feel obliged to buy, or paying out for a ridiculously expensive dinner, or slaving in the kitchen when all you really want to do is snuggle with your significant other in front of the TV with a glass of wine?
So, for us, life goes on as usual. We enjoy hearing about Valentines adventures from friends, but we enjoy these tales from inside our own little comfortable, relaxed bubble.
I hope that those of you who celebrate have a perfect, magical day. If you’re single this year, then I ask that you make today all about you. Soak in the bath with your favourite products, put on a facemask, watch a feelgood film and simply enjoy being able to spend that time by yourself, doing exactly what you want to do.
Dear Missus Tribble I love your post it is written along the same lines as mine. I completely concur with all of your sentiments! I cannot equate the stoning of a martyr with a romantic holiday! No, It is all hype and materialism. Like you,I believe love is something that you live every day, like all the hype on weddings more effort needs to be put into the actual marriage ( the years together ) than the actual wedding day which is really a few short hours. I mean no offence as I am sure you understand what I mean and I would like now to wish you both all the very very best for your life together. Valentine day or not be happy and be well.
No offence taken at all, dear friend. I do know exactly what you mean; the wedding itself doesn’t come cheap but I don’t believe it’s the cost and pomp and circumstance that matters – which is why we’ve opted for a quiet ceremony at a pretty little market town registry office. What matters more is that the years beyond that marriage are more than worth what was paid to sign that piece of paper.
If the past four and a half years are anything to go by, Dom and I have a future in front of us that is worth far more than all of the tea in China. We live, laugh and love on a daily basis, and that alone is priceless
Personally I don’t think someone’s feelings about Valentine’s Day necessarily reflect their relationship or relationship history. Although it could make someone who wouldn’t usually ‘celebrate’ the day change their mind, such as yourself, I do think some people can have very healthy and loving relationships but still celebrate the day. For example, my parents have been married coming up 20 years (together 23) and they still do presents and cards.
So I definitely think both the people themselves, as well as the relationship can have an impact.
Thank you – it’s always good to see both sides of the coin, and I think it’s lovely that your parents still do the card/gift thing. I appreciate your input. My Mum and stepdad do that as well, but they do it in such a grand, expensive way that I simply can’t understand why. Who needs an expensive holiday when all you need to feel loved is to curl up in bed with your loved one?
I suspect that my perception has been coloured by the way the rest of my family behave
I’m afraid I tend to live more like the wild critters these days. I walked with Daisy deer this morning, knowing she loves me to walk with her. I was freezing all the while, but I do love to walk with my girl. FD is out of town this week, but we’ve always expressed love and cherished a deep sense of companionship all along. The Valentine’s holiday, to me, is a silly holiday, as are many others. The animals live in the moment. FD and I try to live in the moment. A card, a fancy dinner out, jewelry, or any little memento pales next to those nightly calls saying “I love you and I miss you”, or holding my hand as we walk across the pasture, or running a beer to FD when he’s on that mower on a hot 100 degree day mowing! Love is 365 days a year… it’s a kind word to a stranger… it’s a smile from across the room… it’s about a love bigger than a flakey holiday of expected romance.
I was rivetted by your post about Daisy, and loved the pictures! It must be so very rewarding to se this Doe on a regular basis and to know that she’s alive and healthy with all her natural instincts intact because of you.
I agree; love is nothing to do with a flaky holiday, and not restricted to your significant other. Love is sending a small food parcel to a friend in need, or chatting to the lady stricken with MS who is sitting next to you on the coach home. It’s letting a retired serviceman talk to you about his time behind the lines and his love of horse racing. It’s unlocking a disabled facility for somebody because you have a special key and they don’t for whatever reason.
Love, to me, is acceptance, tolerance and kindness towards all good things, and protecting people from the bad.