Mum wanted chilli courgette pickle, and I wanted to get downstairs and do Something after being laid up for so long.
So last night I decided to make them and royally b0rked it.
Here is how not to make chilli courgette pickle:
1: Inadvertantly give husband the net weight for piccalilli veg because 1kg is stuck in your head for some reason. Wonder why the slicing is taking so long and then wobble downstairs to the kitchen. Add 2tbsp fine table salt, add water and stir. Leave for an hour.
2: Wobble back downstairs to rinse and drain the courgettes. Wrap in a tea towel and leave for another hour to dry out as much as possible. So far so good.
3: Begin sterilising jars and making the pickling liquid (for Mum I used 500ml white wine vinegar, 1tsp mustard powder, 1tsp mustard seeds, 1tsp turmeric, 1tsp celery seeds and omitted the brown sugar for medical reasons). Allow to simmer for three minutes and then add the courgettes. Stir.
4: Realise that you seem to have a lot of courgettes and ask for another jar. Scoop courgettes and mixture into jars and run out of pickling liquid. Panic slightly, but make some more.
5: Finally come to understand that you have far too many courgettes. Freak out mightily and make up yet *more* pickling liquid.
6: Add the overspill of courgettes to new jar, have myoclonic twitch in right wrist and send jar flying. Look down to find self ankle-deep in courgettes. Flip out completely and run out of cope.
7: Wake up the following morning to be affectionately called a “complete noodlehead” because recipe called for 500g courgettes and *not* 1kg. Feel extremely silly but decide it will be something amusing to post about.
At least the Chicken Tribbles (© Tribble Towers) last night tasted good. So good, in fact, that I had what husband couldn’t manage! *urp*
Disability + cooking + clumsy person = Something To Make Other People Smile.
Yes indeed; I am inviting you all to laugh at my expense. You’re going to anyway. Probably. Why shouldn’t you? I did!
When you’re disabled it’s important, I think, to always be able to see the funny side. Strangers probably think I’m just a clumsy dork but, hey, they still find me quite loveable (allegedly)!
What have been your funniest (in hindsight) kitchen disasters?
What I read into this story is that you have a very loving husband–how good that you have each other and can laugh about these things! I will always remember the bread bomb–a round loaf of raisin bread I left in the oven at a low temperature to let the yeast rise. And then I forgot about it and left the house for hours. The house was filled with smoke and the bread was absolutely charred black through and through. It looked like a relic from Pompeii. That was thirty years ago, and I am still looking for a museum to donate it to.
Heh, I think your bread bomb outdoes my pickles! That really made me smile!
He’s either very loving or up for sainthood; possibly the latter
Better to get yourself into a pickle than to get yourself pickled I figure. (Plus I hear it can be quite painful getting squished into one of those little pickle jars!)
My kitchen disaster was my first attempt to make cookies. I goofed up somewhere along the way & ended up w/ 2 trays of chocolate flavored death disks that both looked & tasted more like chocolate chip roof shingles than anything else. Most of us wrote them off as inedible, but my father, odd as he is, *loved them & devoured the lot of them in under 3 days.
Haha, your dad sounds like fun!
I have no idea what my baking skills are like these days; I wonder if I dare risk finding out once we get a new oven?
Start w/ something easy & find out, I guess. =)
I continue to fail at cookies (though my father thinks all the failed attempts have been delicious), but my brownies turned out pretty well.