“You’re Not Really Epileptic!”


“You pretend to have seizures because you want the attention – you’re not really Epileptic at all.”

I looked at my then-husband and flinched. How could he be saying this to me when – in the past – he’d witnessed me tumbling face-first from a stool while watching a friend’s band performing in a pub? How could he say I was lying when he and a friend of mine had to care for me that night, and when he’d witnessed countless seizures over the years, which I often suffer when I’m sleeping?

I still remember the pain of being deemed a liar. I looked at him, tossing his long blond hair off his shoulder and looking at me as though he knew what he was talking about. Cocky, arrogant and secure in the knowledge that his looks rivalled those of Asshole Rose. “Pretty but stupid” is the kindest description my friends have given him since he and I divorced.

I believe that this was the moment that I began to loathe him and regret the marriage. How could he possibly think that I might collapse and injure myself for attention? Because – you know – I would really throw myself down the stairs or collapse in the middle of a busy road and almost get run over on purpose, right? I slip and tumble and break ribs and toes and end up with concussion because it’s fun!

Oh, and let’s not forget the recent seizure that got me hospitalised. Everybody wants to almost die and have a joyride in an ambulance and have all sorts of tests and injections that cause massive bruising and stress, don’t they?

Well, my ex husband seemed to think so.

Fortunately, his opinion is not the general opinion. Most people recognise Epilepsy as a genuine condition that the sufferer can’t help. I am one of those Epileptics who cannot be controlled by medication and I will always have to endure seizures.

Other people like me do not need, want or deserve the accusations that my ex husband threw at me.

 

About Missus Tribble

Media volunteer for Epilepsy Action (UK) and advocate for both epilepsy and autism awareness. Seamstress, cross-stitcher, sci-fi lover, ukulele player and Chelmsford's own Pickling Pagan who wants to inherit a TARDIS when she grows up. In the process of writing an as yet unnamed book, with anecdotes and information about being epileptic and autistic - and seeing the funny side! Also an entertainment journalist for What Culture, where I write about Doctor Who.
This entry was posted in Abusive Behaviour, Attitudes, Epilepsy, Epilepsy Action, Health, Neurological, Seizures. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to “You’re Not Really Epileptic!”

  1. argylesock says:

    As you know, I think you’re well rid of him.

  2. Debs says:

    We all think we have it bad till I read your story, I have epilepsy for forty years now. I have never come across anyone so arrogant as what you have had too cope with. I have been lucky were my husband has looked after me through all the changes and side effect I have to meds and new meds. But now I am coming to the end of the line no more new tabs to try and help me though complex seizures. Good luck too you and your future life . Be glad of your friends and some to talk too best wishes

    • All these years later, and I still can’t believe that somebody who professed to love me could ever say something so hurtful.

      My new husband is wonderful and understanding, and would never say anything so awful and cruel. I’m so glad that you married a good man, and glad that I eventually found a good man too – he comes to all of my appointments with me and supports me in every way he can.

      I, too, am coming to the stage where there isn’t a lot left for me to try medication-wise; my seizures are so generalised and random that it’s difficult to find the right medication to target the problem.

      Thank you for stopping by, and I wish you and yours all the best for the future x

  3. I really hope you are happy now and are in no way making apologies for it, or explaining yourself because of what happened to you in the past. You don’t owe anyone a justification because of an individual’s ignorance.
    Good luck, take care. Anthony :)

    • Thank you Anthony. I have a wonderful new husband now, and need make no apologies to his friends or family because they know.

      I felt it important to get this negative experience out there though, so that others can learn that epilepsy can happen to anybody at any time and it isn’t faked.

  4. littlesundog says:

    I always hope that people who say such ignorant, rude and thoughtless things might have a similar experience, where it becomes quite clear to them, that they need to have a change of heart. I can’t imagine that anyone would believe his accusations, and likely people who knew him also realized what a jerk he was. What he did and said was not of love… he was the FAKE!

    Bravo to you for seeking real love… and finding him!!

    • Thank you Lori. This is the same fake who got (unknowingly) involved with my uncle’s stepdaughter a couple of years ago – I found out via Facebook when she turned up on my uncle’s friends list and contacted her out of curiosity (since she was also showing as being in a relationship with my ex husband). She’d had no idea either, but she’s a lovely girl who knew I wasn’t being all stalkerish and we quickly became friends!

      Last year they moved into a house in the same road as my great aunt (no relation to my uncle) and then one evening he failed to collect her from work. She had to get the bus home and discovered all his clothing, his music equipment, his van and some bedding gone, with the house key posted through the letterbox. No note, no text, no explanation at all.

      The police eventually found him somewhere on the coast, but even his mother doesn’t know where he is – he calls her but won’t reveal his location.

      Can we all say “bastard”? He left her with his credit card debts, hasn’t repaid his bank loan and she’s geting letters and debt collectors and even bailiffs on her door, all looking for him.

  5. Funny how we take up with these people, and only afterwards realise their many faults and stupidities. But that does take the cake!

    • I was utterly speechless. How could anyone think that somebody gets all bruised up and injured by falling downstairs/off seats/off the back of a moving motorbike deliberately? You would have to be quite a stupid person, I think – and certainly ignorant.

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